Friends First
From early beginnings with a weekly drop-in, Friends First became a registered charity in 2002 and opened a Supported House in Hove for eight men and four women who had been homeless and were in need of a period of stability and support. The house offers a safe and secure environment, where issues from the past can be addressed and where realistic and achievable plans for the future can be made with confidence.
Through the eyes of three residents, see how they have found emotional and spiritual health during their stay.
Anna
Anna had come from Eastern Europe to seek a new life in the UK. Through difficult personal circumstances, which included domestic violence, she found herself homeless and contemplating suicide. Thankfully she found a local women's refuge that put her in touch with Friends First. This is Anna's story:
"I was a homeless. I came to this house from a women’s refuge. I was frozen, hungry exhausted, tired. For me, it was like a miracle. People from the house gave me food and I have nice and warm room. It was difficult time for me. I can’t believe that somebody can help me. I wasn’t very confident in myself. Day by day I learn life in this house. The most important things it was then I feel safe. I have roof over my head, bed, meal. My health became stronger. I was not on my own. Big support I have from people who working here. But it is not just food, it is great moral and soul support. I trust all my problem for this people, my key worker always understanding, patient and caring. She showed me way to God. We spoke about God and one day she take me to the church. I was surprised that all people know each other. It was very warm and peaceful atmosphere and I feel myself like in big family. I open my heart and soul for God. I am grateful for people – staff, that they helped me to found God here. Now I know that God brought me to this house, he gave to me these people.
In Friends First lives different residents. It is not easy job to found way to every heart. All staff working very hard. Very helpful life skills in Friends First, I learn many things in this house.
I learn how to cook tasty meals from small amount of ingredients. From work shop I have knowledge about painting, repairing, how to work with some instruments. I enjoy doing some gardening in the back garden. We do many activities in the house, trip to London, Alpha course, church groups, barbecue, quiz evening, birthday celebrations, swimming etc. The staff always have time to talk with you, sort out your problems, they explain to me how to fill in some forms, documents and other paperwork. They were with me in the bank, some offices, helped me write application forms, show me how to use the computer to find a job. This programme organisation helps people to start an independent life. I am very happy to be there. We are a big “family” with good and bad children. We are all different but we feel all big love and warm atmosphere in Friends First. God cares about this house, residents and staff.'
Anna regularly attends church and has built a good support network of friends. She is now living independently in a flat and has a part time job.
The people who come to live with us do not have to be Christians or seeking spiritual answers to be offered a place. Through living alongside a dedicated staff team drawn from several churches across the city, they encounter the local church. They see kingdom principles such as honesty, compassion and forgiveness worked out on a daily basis.
The house provides a place to reflect on life, where residents can be accepted for who they really are rather than their street persona. The masks that they may have had in place for many years can slowly be removed.
One of the first residents, Carl, described how unsafe it felt to let his guard down in street life. He was concerned that he would become ‘soft’ and vulnerable to being hurt. He had spent years erecting what he pictured as a tower with stone walls several feet thick, trapped in an impenetrable fortress against painful memories and irrational fears. In his desperate attempt to keep abusive others at bay, he had walled up the door to his heart. He vividly described the circle of sky that he could see if he looked up, a glimpse of a place where, perhaps, he would be free to be himself. Unfortunately Carl was unable to break free from his alcohol addiction and was asked to leave the house, stirring up the sting of rejection from the past.
Eric
Following regular Bible studies, Eric became a Christian and was one of three men from the house who went to Encounter, a Newfrontiers summer camp for homeless men and women, where he powerfully met with God and was filled with the Spirit.
"I was delighted to be asked if I would write a few words about my stay here at Friends First, or No 60 as I affectionately call it. I am not sure whether it seems a lifetime ago or just twelve months since I first walked through the door, but what I do know is that my being has changed beyond recognition, and I now have a contentment and vigour for life beyond my wildest dreams. There is little doubt that Friends First has saved my life.
I know that is a sweeping statement but it is absolutely true. I would not have survived much longer as I was. The house has allowed me to step back from all my problems and helped me to address and untangle them one at a time in a caring and supportive environment.
The staff work unceasingly to give all of us residents the tools and the confidence that we will need to allow us to live without help when our stay here is over.
Time here is short, a maximum of eighteen months, and goes very quickly. It has been important to me to make the most of this unique opportunity. So much is on offer here to help us prepare to live independently. Central to the structured week is the Life Skills Programme which focuses on practical 6-weekly courses such as cookery & diet, woodworking & gardening. It also includes sessions which allow us to talk over concerns we might have in respect of budgeting and move-on etc. Also included in the programme are sports and social activities both inside and outside the house. Overall the plan allows us to organise and fill our week with activities that will be of value to us in the future.
I need to write a few words about my faith and how it has blossomed during my stay here. I have been able to explore and question my faith in a caring and understanding environment. I now have a wonderful and loving relationship with God which feels totally natural and warm. My belief is now completely unshakeable and for that I thank Friends First from the bottom of my heart."
Eric will start full-time work soon and is hoping to move into a flat shortly afterwards.
John
Adopted as a child, John was keen to know more about his past. The staff team have helped him trace his family, and through our Life Skills Programme he was prepared for work and offered a temporary contract job. Despite many setbacks (including an accident), he persevered and was given full-time employment.
We have helped him face the challenges of finding a flat and living independently, and our resettlement worker continues to support him in this new chapter in his life. This is what he wrote on the feedback form that we ask all residents to complete as they leave the house:
"I came here 14 months ago, cold, hungry, broken bones, depressed. When everything seems to be going bad for you and you are depressed, it’s very helpful to have someone you can trust to talk to and help you. You feel there is light at the end of the tunnel, for me it was just what I needed to give me some structure. Now – TRANSFORMED, a job, a place to live, and HOPE. Friends First has been fantastic to me, words cannot describe how thankful I am."
We live in a culture where communities are being torn apart and people are pushed into a desperate a form of individualism. People are crying out for authentic communities where they feel accepted and valued. The local church, God’s household, can and should be a wonderful place of healing and restoration.
Rob Liddiard is a founding member of Friends First, a charity providing support to homeless men and women in Brighton and Hove. He manages the Supported House and has worked in a variety of therapeutic communities with both young people and adults. |